I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
