Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
