could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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