I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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