But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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