Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
