im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
