K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
