Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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