lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He did a backflip because drugs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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