I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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