we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize