Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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