My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
