I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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