Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
