its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
