after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
