I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize