God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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