Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize