I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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