i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
