Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
