dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
