well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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