Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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