Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
