I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
