I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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