they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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