also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
