I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
