Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
