It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
