ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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