people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
