I feel like abortions should bother me more
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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