my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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