HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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