"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
