You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
