i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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