her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
