New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
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You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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