My nipple is on Facebook.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
