dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
