i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
