he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
