I showed him my bush... on skype.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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