Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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