he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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