Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
