Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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