did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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