yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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